The point is, it would be a watch that doesn’t tell time, nor even attempt to. Thus it WOULD appear functional (for men or for women), solving the problem you refer to. It would appear, in fact, to be a watch.

I want to keep the watch form. I don’t want to see the bracelet form. I very specifically want to see the watch form, without the time-telling, so as to open up greater possibilities for doing something more interesting with canvass-like face area. (Something a bracelet, for instance, lacks.)

You see?

Part of it of course is that I’m kidding.

And part of it is that I”m not .

I think the problem is that for most men in business attire, jewelry at least has to appear functional or information-bearing (watch, wedding ring, perhaps class ring, organization-related lapel pin, etc.).